3 Things That Make 1:1s Actually Work

One-on-ones are one of the most important tools a leader has, yet they’re also one of the most misunderstood.

Too many leaders treat them like calendar obligations instead of opportunities to connect, align, and move people forward. When that happens, the conversation loses its purpose, and so does the relationship.

So this week, I want to give you 3 things that will help you transform your one-on-ones from obligations into one of your most powerful leadership tools.

Shift the Mindset From Obligation to Opportunity

Most frustration around one-on-ones begins with mindset. If leaders see these meetings as something they “have” to do, they’ll show up rushed, distracted, and reactive — and the conversation reflects it.

But when you walk in seeing the meeting as an opportunity for clarity, alignment, and progress, everything shifts. Your tone shifts. Your questions shift. Your presence shifts. And your people feel it.

Ask: “What’s working well for you right now?”

This opens the conversation with confidence and momentum instead of tension.

Use the Formula, Personalize the Recipe

There’s a formula that works in every one-on-one:

Preparation → Conducting the meeting → Follow-up → Tracking

That part never changes.

But the recipe — how you conduct the conversation — should change every time. It depends on the person, the goals, the situation, and the relationship.

This is where I use The People Strategy workbook. It helps leaders truly connect with their people, making every one-on-one feel personalized instead of generic. When people feel seen and understood, they open up and the real work begins.

Ask: “What needs to shift or improve?”

This gives people permission to talk about obstacles, stress points, or roadblocks that are holding them back.

Always Leave Them Encouraged, Not Discouraged

This is the heart of it. Did this conversation lift them up or shut them down?

Because no matter the topic — praise, performance, conflict, behavior — your people should walk away feeling supported, not defeated.

Encouragement doesn’t mean avoiding hard conversations. It means delivering clarity with care. It means being honest and helpful. And it means your team can trust that you’re in their corner, even when things get tough.

Ask: “What support do you need from me moving forward?”

This reinforces partnership, not pressure, and ensures next steps are shared, not one-sided.

If you improve your one-on-ones, you improve your relationships.

If you improve your relationships, you improve your results.

It’s that simple, and that important.

These three shifts can change the way you lead and dramatically increase the level of engagement, trust, and performance on your team.

Want the full process? My YouTube video, “Effective One-on-One Meetings With Your Team,” walks you step-by-step through the entire approach.